"Eiiii!!" I shrieked happily as I saw the girl get off her motorcycle. "Oh, come on, you're so extra!" she replied. She walked quickly towards me. "I heard some gossip. Someone got a new deskmate yesterday, didn't they?" she teased. I glanced at her. "What do you mean?" "And then, I heard someone walked home together after school, didn't they? Wow... no wonder you're so cheerful this morning." My hand quickly moved, trying to pinch her waist. But Ei's movement was faster. She managed to dodge. "You monkey!" I cursed. "What were you two doing yesterday?" "I was just helping her with orientation. She asked for help, so I helped." "Orientation?" Ei asked, surprised. "Yeah. Why? Why do you look so surprised?" For a moment, Ei looked confused, but then she smiled. "Why? Tell me!" I said. I knew she knew something. "No way." Ei quickly walked away from me, entering the classroom. There was a triumphant smile on Ei's face. She placed her bag on the empty desk right behind Senja's desk. Damn it! She seemed to do it on purpose. Even though our favorite seats at the back were still empty. "You monkey!!" I cursed silently from the classroom door. Ei grinned. She pointed at Senja, who, as usual, was lost in her own world. Annoyed, I walked towards the desk Ei had chosen. "Rekta." My steps stopped before I reached the desk. Senja called my name. She smiled and then took off the earphones that had been plugging her ears. "Hi, Ja," I replied, trying my hardest to keep my pounding heart from being heard. "Why only Rekta? That's not fair!" Ei glanced mischievously at me. This person really seems to be asking for trouble. Senja laughed. "Dew." "No, don't bother. Only Rekta matters anyway!" I placed my bag on the empty desk next to Ei. The girl was still savoring her triumphant smile. Annoying. "Have you done your Biology homework, Ta?" Senja asked. "Here we go. Why bring it up?" Ei and Senja laughed, laughing at me, repeating the incident of my foolishness last week. "You two are in sync, huh? Good!" "Oh, extracurriculars start today, right?" Ei asked, suddenly changing the topic, ignoring my pout. "That's what they say. What extracurricular are you in, Dew?" Senja asked. "Not joining. Hehehehe... Not interested." "Isn't it mandatory?" I asked. "You're in the English Club, aren't you, Ja?" Ei didn't respond to me anymore. "Yes." Senja answered her. Right. I'm invisible now. "Tata too," Ei replied. Hey, why am I being dragged into this? I turned to Ei, pointing at the tip of my own nose. She stuck out her tongue. "You're in English too, Ta? The schedule is this afternoon, right?" Senja asked. "Yes," I answered. I was very ready to slaughter the creature named Dewi Purnama now. Unfortunately, the bell for class rang. Annoying. Even though I really wanted to slaughter that scrawny human who had been smiling triumphantly all this time.
***
Today was the second day in my entire life at school that I spent in complete peace. I mean, I wasn't noisy, not busy chatting about this and that with Ei. How could I be noisy when only Senja's desk separated mine from the teacher's? Well, okay. I admit it. The real reason was that all day, all I could do was stare at Senja. "Ta, are you going home before extracurriculars?" Ei asked. She was already standing and carrying her bag. "No way, Ei. It's not worth it. Extracurriculars start in an hour and a half." "Alright then. I'm heading home, okay?" I nodded. "Just go home." "Ja, Ko, I'm off, okay?" Ei then walked quickly out of the classroom. "Yes, Dew," Eko and Senja answered almost simultaneously. They were already standing, ready to leave the classroom. "Aren't you going home?" Senja asked. She was already preparing to leave with Eko. "Nah, Ja. After this, I'll find something to eat and just wait until three." "Where do you want to eat?" "I don't know. If there's nothing, I'll just eat after extracurriculars." "Come to my place. It's close. We still have time to eat and rest for a bit." "Yeah, Ta. The canteen's already closed by this time." Eko added. "Rekta?" Senja called. Hmm, but it seemed there was no harm in going to Senja's house. It'd be nice to rest for a bit. "Okay, sounds good." I stood up, put on my backpack, then walked with Senja and Eko. We didn't talk at all as we walked. Eko was known for being quiet, only answering when asked. As for me, I'm the type of person who often gets confused about how to start a conversation. This time, Senja surprised me. She usually could start conversations. But this time, she was also just quiet. "You're with Rekta, right, Ja?" Eko asked as we stopped near the school gate. "Yes, Ko." She released her grip on Eko's left arm. "Thanks, okay?" "Yes, Ja. You're welcome. I'm off." "Yup. Be careful, Ko." I approached Senja and offered her my hand. "You learn fast, huh?" she said. "Thanks," I said. "Let's go." She held my right arm, just like yesterday, and we started walking, crossing the street in front of the school and then turning at the intersection. "How many siblings do you have, Rekta?" Senja asked. "An only child." Senja then told me about her family. About her father who was transferred to Solo this year, about her mother who loves to cook, and her twin sibling who loves reading fantasy novels. "You're a twin?" I asked. "Yes." "Why aren't you at the same school?" "No. I'm the one who didn't want to be at the same school as her. It's boring." I laughed at her answer. "What's her name?" "Arik." "Arik? A boy too?" I asked. "A girl. Her name is Matahari Jingga." "Your whole family has unique names, huh?" I commented. Senja laughed. "Are you two close?" I asked again. Senja nodded. "Well, it's standard, I guess," she replied. "We need each other." "Is that her voice in your talking book?" I guessed. "Yes. She's the one who reads to me the most." I looked at her, loving her smile. But even now, I'm still wondering. What exactly is so special about this person? How can she attract me so strongly? "We turn right at that intersection ahead, the one with the red archway." "Oh, right." "Why? Why do you look surprised?" Senja asked, inviting me to cross the street. "No. Surprised by what?" I asked, lying. Senja just smiled in response, not demanding any further explanation. "Alright, we're here." Senja stopped, releasing her grip on my arm. I also stopped, just standing frozen, watching Senja open the gate. How did she know we had arrived? All throughout the journey, she hadn't asked where we were or anything I thought she'd need to know to guide us. "Why are you spacing out? Come on in," she invited. Senja was already in her yard. "Yes." I walked into the yard, waiting for her for a moment as she closed the gate, then following her to the porch. The house was small with a small front yard and a hedge fence. But it seemed very comfortable, especially the porch area, shaded by a matoa tree. "Coming in?" she invited again after taking off her shoes and placing them in the shoe rack on the porch. I obeyed, following Senja into the house after taking off my shoes too. "Oh, you're home...." a woman who was working with her sewing machine in the living room greeted us. She stood up, leaving her work, to greet Senja and me. "Mom, this is Rekta, Senja's friend." "Oh, so this is Rekta? She's pretty, isn't she?" she said. Huh, why such a greeting? I glanced at Senja. She smiled shyly. It seemed she also didn't expect her mother to say that. "Yes, Auntie." I shook her hand and kissed the back of it. "Anyway, since yesterday, it's been all about Rekta." "Mom, you're spilling secrets!" Senja protested. "I'll go to my room for a bit, okay?" She then walked into the first room facing the living room. There was a shy expression on Senja's face just now. But I liked it. Doesn't that mean she also considers me special? "Have a seat first," Mom said. "I'll be gone for a moment, okay?" Mom then went into the back of the house. The living room, like the house itself, wasn't very big. There was only a sofa set, a television, and its stand in one corner. And in another part, there was a sewing machine and a table with sewing equipment on it. Simple. But one thing caught my attention. One wall of the room was a collage full of photos. There was a photo of Senja when she was little. She wore very thick glasses. Adorable. The photos seemed to have been mostly taken candidly. In almost all the photos, the subjects were laughing freely or joking around. "Senja's photos are cute, aren't they?" Mom asked when she returned to the living room. "Yes, Auntie." I continued to observe the photos. Mom then went into Senja's room. Not long after, Mom came out again. "What would you like to drink?" she asked. "Oh, please don't trouble yourself, Auntie," I said. Mom smiled, pulling my hand. "Well, to make it less troublesome, you can come to the kitchen with me," she said. "Huh?" I asked, confused. But I obeyed as Mom pulled me deeper into the house, leading me to the kitchen. "If you want syrup, cold water, or ice, it's in the fridge. The glasses are in the top cabinet." Mom pointed to the shelf in the upper kitchen cabinet. I knew now where Senja's open nature came from. Mom didn't seem to consider me a stranger at all. Mom was very open in welcoming me, even though I had only met her today. "Why are you spacing out?" "I'll just have plain water, Auntie." I walked towards Mom, grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and filled it with water from the dispenser. "Alright then. While you're at it, help Mom prepare lunch, okay? You haven't eaten yet, have you?" Mom opened the food cover on the dining table. "Please get the plates from that shelf, dear." Mom pointed to the plate rack behind me. I finished my glass of water, then took three plates, handing them to Mom, who then arranged them on the dining table, filling one with rice. On the table were spinach soup, fried tempeh, and tomato chili sauce. Simple, tempting dishes. Mom returned to the shelf, took a small bowl, filled it with spinach soup, and placed it near the plate already filled with rice. "Rekta, help yourself to rice, okay?" "Yes, Auntie." I took my plate and took rice from the rice cooker near the dining table, then placed it on the table. "Wait a moment, okay? Mom will call Senja first." Mom then left me. Senja entered the dining room shortly after. She, without difficulty, sat in the chair beside me. "Sorry it took so long." "It's okay." I took another sip of water from my glass, then silently stared at her. "What's wrong, Rekta?" Senja asked. She turned, looking at me. I choked, startled by my own heart suddenly beating fast. "Are you okay?" Senja looked worried. "I'm fine, Ja," I replied, coughing. I was lying. I wasn't fine. So many questions filled my head now. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough courage and felt I didn't have the right to know all the things I wanted to ask. "What's wrong, Rekta? Is there something you want to ask me?" Am I really the type of person who's so easy to read? Why does it seem like Ei and Senja can always see what's in my head? Or perhaps these two actually have a special ability to hear people's thoughts. "Rekta?" Senja smiled at me. "No, Ja." I cleared my throat. "Let's eat!" I invited. Senja didn't move. She was still looking at me and smiling. "Time can't be turned back. Don't waste opportunities." "What do you mean?" "Rekta, are you always this reserved?" she asked. Wait, she was returning my question to her from that day. "Am I really reserved? Nonsense!" "Aren't you tired of keeping all those questions to yourself in your head? Isn't it full?" Honestly, it felt like a slap in the face. That question really hit me hard. Even Ei, whom I've known for almost four years, never questioned me about that. But Senja, without seeming hesitant at all, dared to ask that? "Rekta, we never know if we'll have tomorrow or not. If you keep everything to yourself, what if you become a restless ghost?" I forced a laugh. "Let it be. So I can haunt and bother you. Enough. I'm hungry!" Senja smiled and shrugged. She then started eating. "Mom isn't eating, Ja?" "Mom already ate with Dad earlier before we came home. Dad always comes home for lunch break." I nodded, enjoying my lunch and this moment. I had never before wanted to linger chewing my food. But now, I didn't want to swallow my food too quickly. I wanted to sit beside her like this for a long time, watching her like this. "Ja, don't forget tomorrow." Mom entered the dining room. "Yes, Mom. I haven't forgotten," Senja replied before taking a sip from her glass. I watched Mom go into the room near the dining area, then come out again with a tin box in her hand. It seemed Mom felt I was watching her. She stopped, looked at me, and smiled. "Rekta, tomorrow we have family matters all day. So Senja won't be coming to school tomorrow. Is that okay?" Mom placed her hand on my shoulder. "Huh, why tell me, Auntie?" I asked, surprised. "Well, who knows, if I don't come tomorrow, you might miss me." Senja chimed in. "Dream on!" I replied. Mom and Senja laughed. "Mom's weird too, why tell Rekta?" Senja protested to her mother. "It's okay. Mom can do what she wants." Mom walked away from us, and soon after, the sound of her sewing machine was heard again. Senja and I were just silent. I didn't know what to talk about. Her, I didn't know what was on her mind. But she just quietly finished her lunch. "Mom is Mom," she said much later after finishing her food. "Mom will say anything to anyone she likes. If Mom can talk to you like that, it means she likes you, feels comfortable with you." I'm sure my face was red now. A feeling of joy overwhelmed my heart when I heard Senja's words just now. I looked at her, and somehow, gathering courage from somewhere, the question that had been in my head all this time finally came out. "Ja, can I ask you something?" "Just ask, Rekta." I cleared my throat. "You... You really can't see?" "Not really." Senja played with her finger on the rim of her glass. "You've seen through a frosted window, right? Well, it's like that. Add to that, imagine you poured black paint over that window, so only a few small parts can still let light in because the rest is unevenly covered in black paint." I couldn't tear my gaze away from her, this person who explained it to me so lightly. "Sorry, Ja." Senja smiled. "It's okay, Rekta. Relax. You're not the first person to ask." "You must be tired of answering, right?" I asked. "Not really. This is the first time I've actually explained it to someone. Usually, I just say yes to questions like that." Then no one spoke again. Awkward. But for some reason, I still couldn't stop staring at her. "Are you done?" I asked much later. Senja nodded. "I'll take the plates, okay?" "Sure." Senja smiled. "Absolutely." I took the empty plate from in front of Senja, stacked it with mine, then carried them to the sink in the kitchen. "Need help?" Senja was suddenly beside me. "This is usually my job," she said. "But since you're here, well, thank goodness. I get to be off duty today." "Oh, really? No wonder you look so happy," I said, rinsing the dirty plates. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have washed them." Senja laughed. She then told me about her childhood in Sumatra when she could still see. About the fun of playing soccer on the transmigration complex field. About the beautiful evening views she used to see every time she finished playing soccer. About the twilight sky she never missed back then. I was happy; it turned out we liked the same things. "Were you born in the evening, Ja?" I turned off the faucet and dried my hands with a cloth. "No. I was born in the morning." "But why is your name Senja (Twilight)?" She laughed. "Yes, evening. Just like you." "How do you know?" "Rekta Adisty, red sun. Red sun, evening sun." My heartbeat became uncontrollable again when I realized she had been looking at me throughout our conversation. "Were you investigating me?" I asked, trying to calm myself down. "Yes." She answered innocently. Like a child, I was thrilled to hear Senja's answer. I didn't care if she was just joking with her answer. Today was truly amazing. So many surprises, making me worried, amazed, and happy. "I can see you standing here." Senja smiled, looking at me. "I'm happy to see you standing here, close to me." Senja smiled, looking at me. I froze, completely frozen. My heart beat faster and faster. My breath grew shallower. My chest felt tighter. But my wish was for time not to pass. To stay like this for a while, with her looking at me, as if she also didn't want to let go of this moment.***
Mas Awan waved when I arrived at the gate. I returned his wave with a smile. I quickly approached Mas Awan. "Been waiting long?" I asked. He smiled. "No. Just got here. How was your extracurricular?" He fastened the helmet I had just put on. "Fun. Exciting." "Tired, sis?" "No. Why, Mas?" "Let's stop by Solo Square for a bit, okay? I want to go to Gramedia and then eat." "Okay." I got on the back of his motorcycle. The motorcycle we were on started moving. I smiled and touched my right arm as we passed the intersection near the school, the place where Senja always held it. Even just seeing that road, the place I had passed with her this afternoon, that strange feeling arose in my chest. And now I already wanted to see her again. "Senja is also in the English extracurricular?" Mas Awan asked on the motorcycle. "Yes," I answered curtly. As usual, I didn't really like Mas Awan talking about Senja. Mas Awan didn't ask much more. We didn't talk anymore. He, as usual, occasionally pulled my hand, tightening my grip around his waist. He turned the motorcycle into the slow lane in front of Solo Square, which was used as a parking area, then parked the motorcycle there. "To Gramedia first, then eat, okay?" he said. "Okay, Boss!" I replied. He laughed, holding my hand as we entered the mall building, which was always crowded every day. After going up two escalators, we finally arrived at the bookstore. "Mas, I'm going to look at novels, okay?" I said when I handed over my bag. "Oh, alright. I'll go to the health section, okay?" We parted ways here. He walked quickly to the health book shelves and got lost in them. I headed to the novel section, hoping there were new fantasy novels out now. Last time I was here, I didn't find any interesting new books. "Ouch!" I immediately stopped and held my nose. "Sorry... sorry..." A girl whose elbow had accidentally hit my nose looked panicked. "Yeah, it's okay." I was still rubbing my nose. "The book was a bit hard to pull out, so I tugged hard. I didn't see you behind me. Sorry," she explained at length. "Yeah, it's okay. It's just that..." I left my sentence hanging. She looked worried, waiting for me to finish my sentence. "My nose got even flatter," I said, trying to hold back laughter. "Ugh." She gently pushed me then laughed. Thump! The shape of her teeth, that face, was so similar to Senja's. "What's wrong? Is there spinach in my teeth?" She was confused by my stare. "Oh, no. It's nothing." Why does everything seem to remind me of Senja? I was about to continue my search when my eyes caught the earrings hanging from the girl's ears. They were shaped like the sun. "Your earrings are cute," I commented, without being able to stop myself. "Thanks." She smiled, and her smile widened. "You... Rekta?" she guessed. "Yes. How do you know?" I asked, surprised. "That." She pointed to the name tag on my chest. I lowered my head limply, feeling stupid about my question. She burst out laughing. Then suddenly she extended her hand, which I certainly took with confusion. "Arik," she said when I took her hand. I immediately remembered her name. "Senja's sibling?" "Yes," she said. "Senja often talks about you," I said. "Really? That's unusual." She laughed. "Wow, it's a small world, isn't it? She often talks about you too." A smile never left her face since then. "What did she say?" I asked. "Sorry, I've been sworn to secrecy." Arik made a gesture of zipping her lips. "Ugh." I rolled my eyes, making her laugh. "Looking for a book?" "Just browsing, really. I just finished tutoring, and I was too lazy to go straight home. So I walked around first. Just got back too?" "Yeah. Came straight here after extracurriculars." "Ohh." Arik nodded her head. "Huh, why?" I asked, pointing to the sleeve of her grey and white uniform, which had a class badge. There were three black stripes there. Meaning she was now in twelfth grade. Arik seemed to understand what I really wanted to ask. "Uh-huh." Arik didn't look at me when she answered. Her eyes were fixed on the cover of a novel in her hand. Perhaps because there was no response from me, she looked up and smiled. "Senja probably hasn't told you that she stopped school for two years?" she said. I shook my head. "Well, there you go. I've told you." Arik pulled the corners of her lips up again. She then glanced at the watch on her right wrist. "It's almost sunset prayer time." "Why?" I asked. "Well, just be ready to get yelled at by Senja." "Why would I get yelled at?" I asked, confused. "Because I didn't say I was stopping anywhere earlier." "Is she fierce, Rik?" Arik grinned. "Not really. She never gets angry. But when she talks, it really hits hard." Arik's hand quickly reached into her jeans pocket when a rather loud Korean song was heard from there. She took out her phone. "Just talking about her," she said, grinning. She showed me her phone screen. Jelek calling... "Yes, Ja?" Arik put on a resigned expression. "At the bookstore." She was silent for a moment. "Yes, I'll be home soon." Arik moved the phone away from her ear and pretended she couldn't stand Senja's voice. I laughed seeing her. Ah, now I want to hear Senja's voice too. "Yes." Arik sighed in relief and hung up the phone. "See?" She put her phone back in her pocket. "Just because she was born first, she often acts like she's so much older," she said, laughing. "So, are you going home now?" I asked, picking up a book with a fairy on the cover. "Not now. In a bit, it's not worth it." She flipped through a novel with a purple cover. "Ugh, a tetralogy," she said, putting the book back down. I glanced at the book she had just looked at. "I have the complete collection, Rik. Want it?" A wide smile immediately reappeared on Arik's face. She quickly nodded. "Really?" she asked. "Of course. But tell me first, what does Senja like to say about me?" Arik pouted her lower lip. "Hmm, so you have an ulterior motive. I won't lend it then." "Hahahaha." I laughed. "Just kidding. Relax. I won't ask for anything because you've been sworn to secrecy. Poor you. I'll give it to Senja tomorrow." I immediately remembered, Mom said earlier that Senja couldn't come to school tomorrow. "Oh, the day after tomorrow, right? You have a family event tomorrow." "Family event?" Arik asked, surprised. "Yes, right? I went to your house this afternoon, met your mom. And your mom said Senja wouldn't be coming to school tomorrow because of a family event." "What's the date today?" Arik checked her phone. "Oh, right. Tomorrow." She nodded. "Hey, Ta. If you're with Senja, you really need to prepare a very patient heart." "Why?" I picked up a black-covered book and read its synopsis. "Well, she's very blunt when she talks. Whatever's on her mind, that's what she'll say. Sometimes it's like she doesn't think before speaking. Many people can't stand being friends with her." I laughed, remembering some of my 'ouch' moments with her. I agreed with Arik on this one. "Already experienced it," I said. "Oh, really? Wow, you're great then, aren't you? Still able to stay friends with Senja. Well, I hope you can keep it up. I hope it lasts until you're old and grey. Amen." "Huh?" I asked. She then laughed. "Say amen! It's rare for anyone to put up with an annoying guy like Senja." "You disloyal sibling. Talking about your own sister. I'll tell Senja." "Go ahead and tell her. It's the truth! I've told her myself many times. But it doesn't seem to have any effect." She picked up a book with a winged girl on the cover and read its synopsis. I laughed again. She returned the book with the winged girl to the stack. Arik turned to me. "I think I really need to go home, Ta," she said. The sound of a Korean song from her skirt pocket made me refrain from asking her reason. I just smiled when she showed me her phone screen, and again, the same name was there. "Sorry, okay? I'm off," she said. I nodded. "Come over to my house sometime. Who knows, we can swap books. Bye!" Arik left me while answering the phone call. "Yes, yes. I'm coming home now. Nag!" I could still hear her voice and could only laugh watching the girl walk irritably towards the bag check. "Did you get your books?" I turned around. Mas Awan was suddenly behind me, carrying a black bag in one hand that I was sure was full of books. "I wasn't looking for anything, really. Just browsing," I replied. "Did you get your books?" I then asked back. "Yes. But some weren't there." He showed me the contents of his black bag. "Still want to look at books?" he asked. I shook my head. "Alright then. Let's eat! I'm hungry." He held my hand and led me to the cashier. This bookstore never seemed to be empty. But luckily, the queue at the cashier wasn't too long. I hate long queues the most. "What do you want to eat after this?" Mas Awan asked. He was still holding my hand while queuing at the cashier. "Whatever." "Want seafood?" "Sure," I replied. Mas Awan nodded his head. "Why do you like reading fantasy novels so much?" he asked suddenly. "Why?" "Oh, it's nothing. It's just that it's fantasy... fiction, you know. Not real." I didn't say anything. I was too lazy to comment on this. "Read something a bit more useful. Don't be like a child." "Yes," I replied then. As usual, I was too lazy to argue about something I considered unimportant. "Mas, I'm going to the bag check first, okay?" Mas Awan sighed. It seemed he knew I didn't like what we had just talked about. "Alright, go ahead." He released my hand. "I'll wait in front," I said goodbye before leaving him. To be continued