Set Before Sunset

On the veranda of her small house, she sat lost in thought. Seated on a rattan chair, weathered by time, her gaze swept across the late afternoon sky, now tinged with orange. One by one, birds flew across the twilight, heading towards the dark night on the branches of old cypress trees. Her eyes fell upon a kuini mango tree in the yard. A tree that bore witness to the bitterness of life she had to endure. The event from the same afternoon 20 years ago was still vivid in her memory. Three officers in dark blue uniforms came to see her. One of them she knew well as her husband's close colleague at the Fire Department. The three men's faces before her looked grim, and the anxiety she had struggled to suppress since morning surged back, constricting her chest. Her hands and feet felt cold. Her heart pounded so fast it ached. An alarm in her head seemed to warn her of the impending disaster. Sure enough, the news shook her to her core. Her husband, the love of her life, her soulmate, had died under rubble when he bravely saved a toddler trapped inside a burning house. The toddler survived, but her husband did not. Darkness instantly enveloped her vision, and she collapsed, unconscious. The shock she received profoundly rattled her emotions. From that moment, her world was never the same. Her life felt so quiet and empty. Her sun had set before reaching dusk. If not for her daughter, who was still too young, she would have wanted to end her life right then and there. They hadn't even been married for three years when God took her husband. It felt as if her very core had been ripped out. It wasn't easy for her to build a life with her husband back then. The strong rejection from his family was deeply felt. But she didn't give up. The immense love in her heart made her choose to separate from her family. She didn't want to be betrothed to a man she didn't love, even though her parents thought it was best for her. For her, love was the main key in a marital bond. Therefore, she bravely married even without her parents' blessing. Perhaps people would think she was blinded by love, but for her, her love was pure and sacred, her love was true only to her husband. It could not be measured even with mountains of gold and jewels. Even though she had been a widow for 20 years now, she never regretted choosing that man as her husband. Not once did she ever think of remarrying, even though she knew she was still too young to live alone. But for her, there was only one love, her husband alone. No other person could replace him. She would carry her love until the end of her life. In her family's eyes, that man might have just been a firefighter who often wrestled with death and various other terrifying risks. But for her, her husband was a hero. A hero for society, and a hero for his family. She still remembered how he once fought to get the blessing of her parents to marry her properly. He was rejected repeatedly, and repeatedly he tried again. Until finally, she herself couldn't bear it when she heard her parents were going to force her into an arranged marriage. With a little money and a few clothes, she bravely ran away that midnight. Two days later, she officially became the wife of a firefighter. The man she loved so much. A simple man with a gentle demeanor and speech. From then on, they lived together in a simple cottage. She dedicated her entire life to her husband. The world felt so perfect. There was never even the slightest disagreement or quarrel between them. Happiness thickly enveloped every passing moment. Until finally, she conceived and gave birth to a daughter. Their happiness grew even more. Despite the sadness of losing a family that no longer acknowledged her, she now had a new family that brought so much joy to her life. Now all of that was just a memory. Memories she always remembered. Memories that often made her eyes wet when the silent night descended. Although it was hard for her to raise a child alone, she never regretted it. Her daughter was proof of her sincere love for her husband. Now her daughter had grown into a young woman. Her 20 years of struggle had successfully led her daughter to a bachelor's degree. The sky on the western horizon grew redder. Slowly, the sun continued to set. A gentle touch on her shoulder roused her from her reverie. "It's late evening, Mother, and you're still daydreaming," her daughter whispered then, pulling her mind away from the past. "I'm thinking of your father. How quickly time has passed," she murmured, gazing into the distance. Her daughter remained silent, trying to absorb her mother's longing for a father she never knew. She was still too young to remember her father's gentle caresses and hugs back then. Nevertheless, she could love her father through the stories her mother often told her. One day, she wished to have a love like her mother's for her father. A love that would never fade with time. A love that would never recede in the face of storms and typhoons. Sometimes she was sad to see the solitude in her mother's life. But there was nothing she could do; her mother had chosen one love in her life. Father was her mother's first and last love. Mother loved her father more than she loved her own life. For love, Mother was willing to bear the solitude throughout her life's journey. Once, when she was a teenager and had never experienced love, she asked her mother why she could live in solitude. Gently stroking her head, her mother said, when a wife remains faithful in her solitude, even if her husband is no longer by her side, in the afterlife, that faithful wife will be reunited with her husband. Remembering her mother's words then, she could feel the longing and love in her mother's heart, who was willing to bear the solitude until the end of her life to be reunited with the one she loved so dearly. *** Kini gundukan merah di hadapannya itu masih basah. Tak henti air matanya mengalir mengingat semua pengorbanan yang diberikan ibu padanya. Pengorbanan cinta ibu terhadap ayahnya. Air matanya semakin deras mengalir, kala diingatnya bagaimana akhir hidup ibunya. Akhir pekan itu seperti biasa ia dan suaminya pergi berkunjung ke rumah ibu. Ibu tak pernah mau jika diajak tinggal bersamanya. Sudah berkali-kali ibu dibujuknya, namun berkali-kali juga ibu menolak. Ibu bilang ia tak mau meninggalkan rumah kenangannya bersama ayah. Bagi ibu rumah itu membuat ibu selalu merasa dekat dengan ayah. Padahal ia begitu khawatir meninggalkan ibunya tinggal hanya seorang diri. Pagi itu, setibanya ia di rumah ibunya. Ia merasakan suasana yang nampak berbeda. Keheningan yang tak biasa. Firasatnya mengatakan ada sesuatu yang buruk terjadi kepada ibu. Apalagi ketika ia mendapati pintu rumah yang tak terkunci. Ia bergegas masuk ke kamar ibunya. Seketika air matanya mengalir tak terbendung, melihat ibunya terbaring kaku memeluk seragam damkar ayahnya yang telah usang. Ibunya telah tiada, menyusul kekasih yang telah lama dirindukannya. Senyum damai terlukis di wajah tirus ibu yang betapa amat dikasihinya. Ibu adalah lambang cinta sejati dalam hidupnya. Dalam hati ia berdo'a agar Ibu dapat bersatu kembali dengan ayahnya. Cinta, betapa engkau sanggup menahan matahari untuk terus tenggelam tanpa pernah terbit kembali. Tamat Perempuan Sunyi Di jelaga malam yang sunyi mencekam Lonceng kenangan berdentang-dentang tajam Pembaringan itu basah oleh air mata kerinduan Dari kekasih yang mendamba hangatnya sentuhan. Kecuplah lukaku, jeritnya pada malam yang diam Biar sunyi ini kupeluk, kusandang bak gaun pengantin pertama Demi cintaku padamu wahai matahari yang tenggelam Kunikmati senyap dan bisunya kesendirian. Kepada engkau Maha Cinta di atas segala cinta Dalam tangan-Mu kuletakkan cinta, pengorbanan dan kesetiaan Ketika cintaku memilih sunyinya kenangan Genggamlah jari-jemari kami, dan persatukan. 07/02/2017