Twilight Sky Part 7

As usual every Sunday night, the mall was extremely crowded. Mas Awan held my hand, leading me through the throngs of people on the ground floor of Solo Square, towards the exit on the east side of the building. "Where's the event, Mas?" I asked. "Karaoke. He's been waiting." I nodded along, following Mas Awan, who tonight was dressed in a black t-shirt and blue jeans. The large karaoke room was already filled with some of Mas Awan's college friends. Food was already on the table. Mas Iyok, whose birthday it was, was performing Maroon 5's Payphone. "Finally, you're here." Mas Iyok shook hands with Mas Awan and me. "Sit down, then order your own food, okay?" Mas Awan led me to sit on the sofa at the far end, next to Mas Rinto. I already knew everyone in the room. Knew their names, to be precise. Just knew their names. "What do you want to eat, dear?" Mas Awan asked, flipping through the menu book. "Whatever, Mas," I said, without even opening the menu. "Fried rice, then? Order one for both of us?" "Sure." Mas Awan pressed the service button, ordered food, then left me for a moment to retrieve the remote that his friend had taken earlier and was now lying quite far from where we were sitting. "What do you want to sing, dear?" Mas Awan asked. "You sing." "A duet, then?" he asked again. I shook my head. "Come on. Just this once." Mas Awan then chose a song without waiting for my approval and made it the first priority on the playlist. "Wa..wa..wa.. This guy is unbelievable. Just arrived and already taking over the playlist," protested Mas Rifky, who was sitting at the furthest end from me. "Hey, give it up, single guy!" said Mas Awan, who quickly received an empty mineral water bottle thrown by Mas Rifky for calling him 'jomblo' (single). Mas Iyok handed the microphone to me and Mas Awan as soon as he finished singing. "I wanna call the stars down from the sky... I wanna live a day that never dies..." Mas Awan began the song. He smiled at me as he sang "When You Tell Me that You Love Me." He then passed the next part to me. "I wanna hold you close under the rain... I wanna kiss your smile and feel the pain..." I continued my part. Suddenly, it felt so strange singing this song with Mas Awan. Strange that, once again, it wasn't him in my head. Not him, not the person who was now duetting with me, who had been by my side for two years. "Everytime you touch me, I'll become a hero. I'll make you safe no matter where you are..." My breath truly felt gone as I sang those lyrics. I looked at Mas Awan, returning his smile when he smiled at me, returning his words of love, but not once had I missed him as much as I missed Senja. "I'm shining like a candle in the dark when you tell me that you love me.... When you tell me that you love me..." Mas Awan and I sang the last lyrics of the song together. "Woohoo!" shouted Mas Iyok as soon as Mas Awan and I finished the song. "Indeed, you two are so... So romantic. Just like us, babe?" Mas Iyok put his arm around Mbak Rina, who was sitting next to him. "Oh, please!" Mbak Rina pushed Mas Iyok away, making five other people in the room laugh. I leaned back into the chair and reached into my jeans pocket when I felt my phone vibrate there. Ei: Hey, I think it'd be fun to go to CFD tomorrow. Pick me up, okay? Typical Ei, always changing her mind so quickly. This afternoon, when I asked her to go to CFD tomorrow, she said she wasn't interested. Typical Libra. Me: Seriously! Okay. I'll pick you up at 6 tomorrow. We'll bike, right? Ei: Hehehe.. so fierce. Yeah, dear. I'll wait for you at home at 6. Love youuuuuuu... Me: Pfft! Ei: Hahahahahaha.. I closed my chat with Ei, then opened my conversation with Senja, my last conversation with him. I smiled. "Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now.. our song on the radio but it don't sound the same.." Mas Rifky's hoarse voice filled the room. "Ugh. Someone's feeling down!!" shouted Mbak Rina. "Too young too dumb to realize..." Mas Rifky continued his song, ignoring Mbak Rina's comment. I reread Senja's short messages. Ah, what was he doing now? "Who is it?" Mas Awan put his arm around my shoulder. I quickly pressed the home button on my phone, a shortcut to exit all applications. "Ei," I replied. "She's asking me to go to CFD tomorrow." "Oh, that sounds fun. But I have to do homework tomorrow. Can't join." Our fried rice order arrived. Mas Awan insisted on feeding me, making his friends make teasing sounds at us. "Alright, no need to be jealous," Mas Awan said. I just laughed. After a plate of fried rice and a bottle of mineral water shared between us, I leaned back into the sofa again. Mas Awan was busy with his friends again. And I remembered him again. I turned my phone back on. Me: Busy? I quickly typed a short message and sent it to Senja, then immediately closed the messaging app and opened Instagram instead, checking the number one notification. Mas Awan. He had tagged me in his latest story. He's so up-to-date. My phone vibrated, coinciding with an envelope icon appearing at the top of the screen. I quickly opened the incoming message. I smiled as soon as I knew who sent it. Langit Senja: No. Ah, that man. I know he doesn't like small talk. But does his reply have to be like this? Doesn't he know I'm a woman who can't just admit to missing someone? My phone vibrated again. Langit Senja: Missing me? I smiled reading his newly arrived message. He really is something. Me: Haha.. So confident! Langit Senja: Lying is not good for your health. Me: You too! Langit Senja: Hahaha.. Why? Want to accompany the sun home again? Suddenly my face felt hot. A strange flush of embarrassment crept in, making the blood rush to my face. Me: Yes Langit Senja: Me, too. He then sent another message containing only a smiling emoticon. "Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed..." I straightened my head when I heard Mas Awan singing "The Rose." That song, the same song that accompanied my afternoon with Senja that day. The song that usually made me float, this time sounded different in my heart. "Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need." Mas Awan smiled at me. "I say love it is a flower and you its only seed." He extended his hand towards me. This time something was different. This time a strange feeling crept into my heart. Hearing Mas Awan sing that song, I felt as if he was piercing my heart with his words, his words of love, showing how much he loved me, accepting me for who I was, accepting all my flaws. And this suddenly felt painful. *** Ei's smile greeted me in her yard. But this time, her smile was a little different, as if hiding something. "Why are you smiling like that?" I asked without getting off my bike. "Come in first, Ta." "Aren't we leaving right away?" "That's the problem. My bike tire is flat, I forgot to patch it yesterday." "So?" I asked. "Let's just walk, okay? It's close by." I finally got off my bike and parked Silvy, my silver bike, in Ei's garage. Ei's smile widened. She pulled me out of her yard. I complied, walking with her. Luckily, her house was close to Slamet Riyadi Street, so I didn't have to walk too far. "The house is so quiet, Ei?" I asked. "They all went to CFD already. I'm waiting here alone just for you." "Ugh!" I commented. Ei laughed. As I had expected, Slamet Riyadi Street was already full of people strolling, jogging, cycling, playing badminton, and most of all, looking for snacks. "Why didn't Mas Awan come, Ta?" Ei asked. "He had plans with his friends. To do homework or something. I forgot." I then pointed to a french fry vendor near Grandmall. "I want french fries!" "Hey, exercise!" Ei said. She turned my head, forcing me to look away from the potato vendor and straighten my gaze forward. "Ah, damn it!" I cursed. "Let's just walk, okay? No need to jog," I pleaded. Ei rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright," she said. I observed the various vendors along the side of Slamet Riyadi Street. I just realized how many creative people there are in this city. I just realized that many things that were once considered trivial can also make money. I asked Ei to stop in front of the Radya Pustaka Museum. There was a man teaching small children how to make origami. "The butterflies are cute," I exclaimed, pointing to an orange paper butterfly that the man had just made. "Come here, miss. I'll teach you how to make one." The man invited me to sit next to him. "Ei, wait a moment, okay?" I said. I then sat next to the man and followed his instructions to make a paper butterfly. It turned out that making origami was not as difficult as I imagined. In less than five minutes, I had successfully made my own orange butterfly. "Easy, right, miss?" the man asked. "Hehe, yes, sir." I observed my butterfly. "How much, sir?" I asked. "Two thousand." I reached into my pants pocket, took out two thousand rupiah, and handed it to the man. I turned around and my heart immediately pounded when I found Senja standing behind me, chatting with Ei. Next to him was his father, who this morning looked very relaxed in a t-shirt and shorts, different from yesterday. His father yesterday looked neat in his work uniform when he picked up Senja after exercising. "Uncle," I greeted. I quickly stood up and shook his hand. "Oh, we meet again," his father said. "What are you making?" "Hehe, this, Uncle. Just trying out origami," I replied shyly, showing him my creation. Senja was still chatting with Ei, seemingly having such a lively conversation that he didn't even greet me. Great. "Just the two of you, Uncle?" I asked. "No. There were four of us earlier. But Mom said she was too lazy to walk, so she's waiting in Ngarsopuro. Arik met his friends earlier, so I don't know where he is now." I nodded along. "Just with Dewi?" his father asked. "Yes, Uncle," I replied. "And where are you going next, Uncle?" "Just walking around. Going back to Ngarsopuro." His father turned to Senja. "Dear, are you going with your friends?" "What about you, Dad?" Senja asked. "If you want to go with them, then I'll just accompany Mom. I'll wait for you at Ngarsopuro later." "Is that okay, Uncle?" Ei asked. "It's fine." Senja released his hand from his father's arm. "Alright, Dad will go ahead, okay?" I didn't want to lie. There was a feeling of happiness when his father left us. Not because I didn't like his father being there. But, I was sure I wouldn't be able to do anything if his father was here. "Damn it! No way!" Ei lightly hit Senja's arm. Senja rubbed his arm, pretending to be in pain. I sighed. "Are we going to keep chatting here?" I asked. "Ohh, someone's sulking, Ja," Ei teased. Senja laughed. "Rekta," he called. "What did you make earlier?" "A butterfly," I said. I took Senja's right hand, opened his palm, and placed the paper butterfly I made there. Senja's hands felt my paper butterfly. He smiled. "Beautiful," he said. "Is it for me?" He folded the paper butterfly along the center crease and then slipped it into his back jeans pocket. Senja smiled and opened his left hand. I gave him my right hand, letting him hold my arm. "Aaah, I'm a third wheel," Ei said softly. I turned to Ei, giving her a wide smile. "Let's go," I said. "Ja, by the way, by the way. I feel like whenever you're with Eko or your dad, you're on the left. Why are you on the right with Tata? Which one is it, really?" Ei asked. "There's nothing wrong," Senja said, laughing. "But I'm the guy, Dew. I'm the one who has to protect Rekta." I was floating. That answer made me feel like I was floating. It felt so good. He was protecting me. As the day progressed, this road became more and more crowded with people. This kind of activity should have been implemented a long time ago. Let many people complain because this road is closed every Sunday morning. Let people complain that it's difficult to get around and they have to take long detours because the city's main road is closed. That's just how people are. Hard to please. "Can't that guy see? Poor thing, huh?" I heard someone whisper behind me. No, not a whisper. A whisper shouldn't sound that loud. "Yeah, poor thing. Is that his girlfriend? How can she be with him?" another voice whispered. Senja's grip on my arm tightened, as if protecting me from lashing out at those two annoying people. I turned to him. He smiled, as if trying to calm me down. "Have you had breakfast?" Senja asked. "I don't have an appetite right now," I replied, unenthusiastically. "Don't be like that." Senja closed his eyes. He sighed. "Don't take it to heart," he said again. Don't take it to heart, he said? Why was he the one saying that? Shouldn't I be the one saying that to him? Shouldn't his heart be hurting, not mine? But why was it like this? Why was I the one feeling hurt and angry? "Ja........." I called. "Yes, Rekta?" Ah, I couldn't say anything now. I suddenly stopped walking, then hugged him, wanting to tell him that I was okay and that I was there for him. Unfortunately, my courage wasn't that great. "It's okay," I said. We were silent, just walking, not saying anything else. "Hey, someone's selling cotton candy, Ta!" Ei exclaimed. She pointed with her finger to the cotton candy vendor who was busy making candy. Ei never liked cotton candy. I did. I knew she was doing that just to lighten the mood between the three of us. I was sure she also heard the words of those two girls earlier and she must have known how I felt about it. "Let's buy some!" Ei walked ahead of me and Senja. I asked Senja to follow Ei to the cotton candy vendor. There were several sticks of cotton candy in various colors and shapes displayed on the cart. "Sir, a whistle." Ei squatted next to the cotton candy vendor. She asked for a whistle-shaped cotton candy. "Do you want one, Ja?" I asked. I observed the displayed cotton candies. "Just for you," he said, smiling. "Hmmm.. like a child, huh?" I said. "Who?" "Me." "It's okay, Rekta. I like it," he said. "You, just as you are." My heart suddenly felt so light. All the annoyance and heartache from earlier seemed unimportant when I heard him say those two words; I like it. "Nice, huh?" Ei blew her cotton candy whistle in front of my face. "Hey, noisy!" I pushed her. The skinny girl laughed and teased me instead, blowing her whistle again. "Aren't you buying one, Ta? You're usually the most excited when you see cotton candy." "Does Rekta like it?" Senja asked. "Ah, not really, Ja. Just so-so. Ei's the one who's excited." Ei pouted her lips at me. "Liar! She loves it, Ja. She's still like a child!" "Hey, wasn't that whistle tried by the guy selling it earlier?" I asked with an annoying look. Ei immediately lifted one side of her lip. "Thanks for reminding me. But no. I told him not to try it! Satisfied?" "Come on. Let's go!" I said, ignoring her defense. "Ja, what do you think of Tata?" Ei asked, playing with her whistle. I quickly turned to her, ready to choke her. Ei stuck out her tongue at me. She walked to Senja's right, deliberately moving away from me. "Kind," Senja said. He held back a laugh, knowing Ei was throwing a trick question. "Just like that, Ja? Just kind?" "What else?" "Well, anything. What do you like about her?" Ei was really exasperating this morning. I really wanted to pinch her waist. But she deliberately chose a safe position next to Senja. So she could wear a winning smile on her face. I felt so annoyed with her, but I also wanted to hear Senja's answer. I wanted to know what he liked about me. "Unpredictable," Senja said. Ei and I both didn't expect that answer from Senja, both not understanding what he meant. "What do you mean?" Ei asked. "Yes, Rekta is unpredictable. I haven't been able to figure out what her true personality is like." This was the first time anyone had told me I was unpredictable. Strange. Because I thought I was a very easy person to read. Every one of my responses was a typical response given by people in general. "No way!" Ei disagreed. "Tata is predictable. Too easy to guess, in fact." "Maybe I haven't known Rekta long enough." "Which part of her is unpredictable, Ja?" Ei still pursued Senja with her questions. Between being annoyed at being the subject of conversation and curious about every answer that would come from Senja, I chose to remain silent. "Well, there is." Senja didn't answer Ei's question. He didn't want to discuss it. "Lame!" Ei was disappointed. Ei was disappointed, just like me. "So crowded!" I exclaimed, commenting on the number of people on this street, trying to alleviate my disappointment. "Turns out Solo is beautiful when you look at it, huh?" "Tell me," Senja said. "No way," I replied quickly. "Otherwise, it'll be a mess again and I'll be laughed at again." Senja laughed. "Did I ever laugh at you?" "So never? What about that afternoon? And after exercising?" I asked. "What is it? What is it?" Ei asked, curious. "You just want to know!" I stuck out my tongue at Ei, who immediately pouted. But I finally gave in. I told Senja everything I saw. Everything that caught my eye; old buildings from the Dutch colonial era still tucked away among new shops, shade trees along the road, the sky. Everything. "Ngarsopuroooo!!" Ei exclaimed as we reached the Ngarsopuro intersection. The super large, red Ngarsopuro sign welcomed us. "Where is Dad waiting, Ja?" I asked. "In front of Omah Sinten, he said." I nodded my head. "I like walking here the most," I then said. "Why?" Senja asked. "It's beautiful. I like its antique charm. And the paintings on the almost crumbling walls on our left. I don't know what's so good about them. Maybe the concept. The paintings use half-ruined wall canvases." I paused for a moment. "The wayang statues on the right side of the road, the super large mask statues, the shape of the market building." "Unique?" Senja asked. "Yes, unique. Like the lights too. I like it at night. The lights arranged in circles around iron poles are placed inside birdcages. At night it's really beautiful. But it makes me sad." "Why sad?" Senja and Ei asked simultaneously. "Beautiful, wanting to shine, but trapped. Able to see the outside world but unable to join. Made into a display, without freedom." Ei looked at me, staring at me from head to toe repeatedly. "What?" I asked, confused, looking at Ei. "You're not possessed, are you?" she asked. "Damn it!" I cursed. "Seriously. In my entire life, this is the first time I've heard you talk like that. It's not like you, Ta." "Unpredictable, right?" Senja interjected. "Unique." I didn't respond to their comments. "Ouch!" a man shouted loudly. Everything happened before I could prevent it. I felt Senja stop walking. I immediately stopped too. The bottom of Senja's shirt and pants were wet. In front of us, a man with one hand holding a glass and the other holding a phone, looked at us angrily. "Hey, watch where you're going!" He shouted loudly at Senja, looking very angry because his drink had spilled. I was ready to lash out now, ready to confront him. He was the one at fault. I knew it. He wasn't paying attention to the road. He was walking while playing on his phone. He bumped into Senja. Why was he the one getting angry? "Can't you see?!" the man snapped again. Senja held me back, pulling my arm when I was about to explode. Senja's eyes closed, he sighed, and smiled. "I'm sorry. Yes," Senja replied calmly. Senja's words immediately made me turn to him. I really couldn't understand him. "Ooooh," he said. "If you can't see, just stay home, don't go out! You'll just hurt people!" The man turned and walked away. I was still looking at Senja. My eyes were starting to sting. There was a sharp pain in my heart. I quickly took a tissue from my bag and squatted down, trying to clean his clothes, but Senja quickly pulled me to my feet. "It's okay, Rekta." "Why are you like this, Ja? Why did you apologize? He was the one at fault. Not you!" I exclaimed, annoyed and sobbing. This annoyance, this annoyance that had been building up since yesterday, was unbearable. I was fed up with selfish people who didn't respect others. "The important thing is that I'm okay." Senja smiled. "Come on, don't take it to heart." I really couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I quickly hugged him and cried there. I couldn't fathom what he said, what he did. He apologized to the person who should have apologized to him. He smiled at the person he should have been angry with. Shouldn't his heart be hurting? But why could he still smile like that? "Oh, why are you crying?" Senja asked, confused by my behavior. But he returned my hug. "It's okay, Rekta. I'm okay," he said again, stroking the back of my head. I hugged him tighter. No longer caring about the dozens of eyes staring at me. No longer caring about what people thought. I just wanted him to know that I cared about him, that he wasn't alone, that I was there and didn't want him to be hurt. To be continued