This was a tragedy that almost drove me mad; I absolutely couldn't believe it. Why that person? I greeted him, he didn't answer. I smiled, and he just hurried away. I sighed, wishing the weight on my chest would lift, taking with it all the frustration I felt towards him. This wasn't the first time; it was the same person with the same reaction. What's wrong with greeting a stranger just to be friendly?
The streets were still quiet, and the cold crept over my entire body. I couldn't bear it, not because of the cold. But that mysterious figure left a slight feeling of dread.
“It's still early, why are you done jogging, Nay?”
“Yeah, Mom, it's really cold outside.” I showed her my hands, which looked shriveled.
“In that case, I'll prepare warm water for your bath!”
I just nodded. An insincere nod. A nod accompanied by annoyance, annoyed at being ignored. Annoyed because my questions went unanswered. Annoyed and ashamed, ashamed because of the indifference that clung to my soul.
After showering, I hurried to my room and immediately faced the large mirror on the wall.
“Oh mirror, tell me why that boy ran away in a hurry when he saw me,” I said with a melancholic tone.
Of course, the mirror remained silent. I stared intently at my reflection in the mirror: a beautiful face, clean white skin, delicate lips. My hair flowed freely, radiant and soft as silk. I only intended to be friendly to him, but he just walked away without a word. Had I ever done anything wrong to him? Ah, I hope I don't go crazy from constantly wondering.
In class, I told my friends about the mysterious boy in as much detail as possible. I didn't expect to hit a dead end. They all looked surprised.
“How could any foolish boy miss Naya's perfect smile and greeting, Naya, the School Beauty?” said Novi, who was usually calm, now looking curious.
“Hahaha.. poor you, Nay, maybe that kid is deaf. Or allergic?”
“What do you mean?” I interrupted, feeling a bit played by them.
“Allergic to meeting pretty people like you, Nay!!” Their words were no help at all.
Suddenly I was stunned; through the glass window, I saw a tall, fair-skinned boy, reading a book while pacing aimlessly.
“Lina, that…..that……” I pointed my finger towards the boy we had been talking about.
“Oh my god.., no wonder you were ignored. Don't you know who that is??” I nodded, feeling cornered by my ignorance.
“That's Raka, a boy with a motor impairment, who is mute, and has some neurological issues in his brain. He's called Tuna, because he's the only deaf and mute child in our school.”
“He's in 3rd grade Science class; no one understands why he's here. Maybe he's the child of an official, or something else,” Ela interjected, her voice rising.
“Where have you been, Nay? You don't know such a small thing; you're too busy with yourself and your fans.”
I fell silent, as if I was sinking deep into silence. The clamor of voices around me seemed to disappear. I couldn't hear anything anymore. Goosebumps rose on my skin. I felt weak, how could it be? Someone like him, who seemed more suited to be a prince, turned out to have a disability.
I looked at him again, this time truly intently. He was indeed handsome with a seemingly normal physique, but his behavior was perplexing. Standing there, smiling to himself while reading a book. He seemed indifferent to everyone, as if living in his own world. Not a single person was near him. Hardly anyone acknowledged his presence. Only one or two students paid attention to him, proudly laughing at his behavior. They guffawed, more like watching a TV comedy. Suddenly I felt furious. Not because he had ignored me that time. But I didn't quite know why.
I went home with a heavy heart. I was still conflicted, and also sorrowful. How could I have... yesterday I had uttered various curses at someone innocent due to his limitations. I felt guilty and deeply ashamed at the same time. With everything I had, I sometimes still complained, cursed, saying that God was unfair, not giving me what I wanted. Oh.. I was truly despicable. What should I do to atone for my sin?
Tonight my room looked different, so melancholic. The ceiling seemed to glare at me, the wall clock looked eerie. The sounds from the loudspeakers fell silent, perhaps they were angry because of my vile prejudice. My eyes refused to close, remembering the handsome face that was ignored and even ridiculed. But I didn't do it intentionally. I couldn't stay silent; I was truly compelled to see a sheet of paper and a pen. I moved my fingers, but they felt stiff. I mustered all my theories, and the result was only the writing below.
I'm sorry, Raka, for my inappropriate behavior.
Will you forgive me??
The words weren't special, but honestly, writing those lines made sweat trickle down my face. So much so that I couldn't fall into a deep sleep. I kept waking up and falling back asleep. I truly felt guilty.
Dawn had chased away the dark night. A fairly bright morning. I was ready; I tightened the laces of my black and white canvas shoes and put on a clean white cap.
“Mom..., I'm leaving, wish me luck!!” I shouted, breaking the silence of the house.
“Yes, yes, why are you shouting, Nay?” she peeked from the kitchen with an annoyed expression.
I walked slowly at first, then faster and faster. Until at one point, I stopped. Not because of a red light, but because he appeared before me. He, who was called Tuna,..
He turned his face away, but I approached him directly. I held his hand; his whole body trembled. He tried to pull his hand away, but I quickly stopped him with the note I held out in front of him. The note I had written last night. He was a bit stunned, then slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a worn blue notebook. He busied himself with it, and he wrote a sentence that read,
Nothing to forgive, because no one is to blame
I met that sentence with a smile, and miraculously… this time Raka returned it with a smile. A smile that I felt was absolutely perfect.
From that moment on, I began to fly far from my old world. Spreading my wings freely. I grasped the meaning and essence of the soul attached to the body. And I began that by unraveling the mystery of Raka, Raka who was usually called Tuna. Their souls are difficult to read, because their bodies cannot reflect their souls. They don't speak, they don't hear, but they are still human beings. They can think, and they can certainly feel. It is their hearts that speak, and they alone can truly understand it. It is not right for us to look down on them, because we are all equal in the eyes of the Creator.
editor: Putri Istiqomah Priyatna