Twilight Sky Part 3

The pile of homework I needed to do was waiting on my desk, but I was busy exploring my laptop screen instead. I didn't know which page I was reading now. Since coming home from school, I had only spent my time browsing the internet, looking for anything I wanted to know about the visually impaired. Anything. I had been holding back this urge for almost a week. Since last Tuesday, since being startled by a creature named Langit Senja that day, I had actually been curious. I already wanted to know anything related to him. At first, I could still hold it all back. At first, I thought it was just a fleeting desire that would disappear in a few days. But it had been the fourth day since then, and my curiosity hadn't diminished. That's why today, since there was no mandatory study rule, I spent my time in front of my laptop. The homework could wait. Haaah, why did there have to be a person named Langit Senja? Why did he have to be in my class? Why did we have to be classmates? Why did he have to sit in the front row? Why did he have to be smart? Why did he have to know everything, always able to answer the teacher's questions? If it weren't like that, I wouldn't have to always look his way, wouldn't have to pay attention to him every day. Worse, why did I have to care? Why did my heart always beat wildly whenever he was around? "Ugh, annoying!" I muttered softly, almost closing my laptop but stopping when I found his profile on Facebook. "Huh? He has Facebook?" I asked in disbelief. My eyes scanned the laptop screen displaying his Facebook profile. Aaargh... I had even unconsciously typed his name into the search bar. Ugh, what's wrong with me? But I didn't stop, continuing to browse the page containing information about him. I swear. I've never been this curious about someone before. This is the first time. "Honey, eat first." Mom poked her head through my half-open bedroom door. I jumped. "Oh, yeah, Mom." "What were you looking at? Why were you so startled?" Mom walked into the room, coming towards me. I quickly closed my laptop and stood up. "Hmm, suspicious. Alright. Let's eat!" Mom said, then went ahead of me to the dining room. I quickly left my room, following Mom to the dining room. "Wow, water spinach," I exclaimed, trying to sound enthusiastic before quickly sitting down and grabbing a plate. "Aren't you going out with Awan?" Mom put rice on her plate, no longer discussing what I had seen on the laptop earlier. Thank goodness. "He's doing homework, Mom." I also took rice on my plate and followed it with stir-fried water spinach. "He's busy now, isn't he? Still doing homework on a Saturday night." "Yeah, something like that." I then put the first spoonful into my mouth. "How's school?" "Under control." "And? And?" I chewed the food in my mouth and then swallowed it. "And what, Mom?" "Well, what other stories are there? Just 'under control'? You haven't told me anything about school. Nothing at all." Actually, there were many things I wanted to tell Mom. Especially about Senja. There were also many things I wanted to ask. I thought, as a nurse who had worked in healthcare for twenty years, Mom would be able to answer my questions. But I held back, not knowing where to start. "What else, Mom? Nothing special, really." Mom nodded. The conversation then continued with Mom's stories about her work today. Mom always had stories to bring home. About the patients at the hospital where she worked, about her fellow nurses. All the pleasant stories about her work were always brought home. But strangely, Mom never once told stories about problems at her workplace. Never even a story about her frustrations. "Done, Mom?" I asked, pointing to the empty plate in front of her. "Done." Mom handed me her empty plate and then cleared the dining table. I took both dirty plates to the sink in the kitchen. Daily chore. Every time we finished eating, I was always in charge of washing the used dishes. Just as I finished washing the dishes, I heard someone opening the gate. I quickly left Mom, who was enjoying her warm tea at the dining table. When I reached the living room, I found Mas Awan standing at the door. "Long time no see. Mom was just asking about you," I said. "Come in." "Really? Mom must miss me." "Confident!" I went ahead of him back to the dining room. "Have you eaten?" I asked, one hand holding the food cover, ready to cover the leftovers of my and Mom's dinner. Mas Awan shook his head, put on a pitiful face, and rubbed his stomach. "Eat, Wan. I absolutely won't have you getting thin." Mom came out of the kitchen and immediately greeted Mas Awan. "Keep your brother company while he eats. Mom needs to finish some work." "Lots of work, Auntie?" Mas Awan asked. "The usual, housewife's work." "Oh, Auntie. You're too kind. May I eat, Auntie?" "Yes. Go ahead and eat." Mom then left Mas Awan and me alone in the dining room. I hung the food cover I was holding on the wall and then got a plate for Mas Awan. "How much do you want?" I asked while serving rice. "Just a little." Mas Awan took the plate and filled it with stir-fried water spinach. "Where's Dad?" he asked before taking his first bite. "Day shift. He'll probably get home around ten." For a moment, Mas Awan was preoccupied with a plate of rice and stir-fried water spinach. I just watched him eat in silence. This person, I never thought I would become his girlfriend. At least, not for this long. Two years. I first met him when I was in second grade of junior high. We went to the same junior high, but he graduated when I started. So, we had never actually met before, never truly experienced being in the same school. It was just that at that time there was a friendly basketball match between the school team and the alumni. That's where I met him. "Why are you smiling?" Mas Awan asked, perhaps finding it strange that I was looking at him like that. "Nothing. Just remembering seeing you play basketball in that friendly match." Mas Awan looked at me instead. "The best match. Because after the game, I was introduced to you." "A skinny guy, wearing glasses, nerdy." "Back then. Now I'm handsome, right?" "Uh-huh," I replied casually. I stood up, took the empty plate from in front of Mas Awan, and carried it to the kitchen. Mas Awan followed me, then, as usual, waited for me to wash the dishes. He stood leaning against the wall next to me. "Next Saturday is Iyok's birthday. He invited us for dinner," he said. "Mas Iyok, right?" I tried to remember which of Mas Awan's friends was named Iyok. "He also wants to celebrate. He just started dating Rina." "Oh, that Mas Iyok. He finally got her after being a secret admirer for how long? Three years, right?" I dried my hands. "Yeah. He's such a wimp. If he had dared to ask her out in high school, they would've been together ages ago." I took the glass from Mas Awan's hand, took a small sip, then looked at him for a moment. I didn't always agree with Mas Awan. In fact, I never agreed with him on this: life. I didn't like 'what ifs'. Life was meant to be as it was. 'What ifs' were useless. Even if Mas Iyok had asked Mbak Rina out ages ago, it wasn't certain they would have started dating back then. It had to happen this way: they could only get together now. Period. "What are you thinking about?" Mas Awan asked. "Nothing," I replied as usual. I didn't want to discuss what was on my mind now. It wasn't important. "Hmmm... it's like this... You always do that." "Do what?" I asked, hugging the empty glass to my chest. "Being pretty? This is natural." Now it was Mas Awan's turn to laugh. He shook his head and then quickly placed his hand on top of my head. "You're impossible," he said, ruffling my hair. I stayed silent. My head was suddenly filled with Ei's questions from earlier that afternoon, about my feelings. I remained silent, trying to let my heart feel something grow there. But, no different from usual, I felt nothing. *** "Aren't you two going out?" Dad asked, taking off his shoes. Tonight, Dad came home on time. Perhaps the ward where he worked wasn't busy with many patients. "No, Uncle. I just want to hang out here. Tata just recovered too. I don't dare to ask her out yet." Mas Awan answered Dad's question quickly. Dad nodded several times. Ah, Dad would agree to anything Mas Awan said. Mas Awan was like the son he had lost. The first time he came to our house, Dad immediately took to him, immediately loved him. Especially when he found out Mas Awan's parents were specialist doctors. Plus, this year he was accepted into the Faculty of General Medicine. It was complete. Dad's ideal son-in-law. "Have you eaten, Wan?" Dad, who was almost inside the house, stopped at the door just to ask that. "Yes, Uncle. Sorry, I finished all the water spinach earlier. Hehehe.." "Alright, if you've eaten. I'll go in first." "Forget the water spinach, he'd even give away his daughter," I scoffed while filling in the answer column in my Chemistry workbook. Mas Awan laughed at my remark. He then looked at my work and corrected some of my inaccurate answers. "Sis, that person you greeted in front of school on Tuesday, is he your classmate?" Mas Awan suddenly asked. "Senja?" I asked. "His name is Senja?" he asked. I nodded. "Is he blind?" he asked again. I nodded again. "How can he go to your school?" "He can," I replied indifferently while trying to finish my homework. It wasn't that I didn't care about this topic, but somehow, I felt uncomfortable when Mas Awan brought up Senja. "How can they accept a student with a disability like that? Can he really follow the lessons?" he asked again. "Why isn't he in a special needs school?" "He can! He's actually very active in class, he answers all the teacher's questions, never misses asking this and that," I replied. Mas Awan immediately looked at me with a surprised face. "Whoa, why are you getting so annoyed? I was just asking," he said. Oh my! Yeah. Why was I getting annoyed? Why couldn't I accept it when Mas Awan belittled Senja? "What's wrong with you?" Mas Awan asked, confused. Confused by my attitude just now. "PMS," I answered casually. "Alright, enough. Help me with this first! How does this become like this?" I lied, pointing to one of the questions I hadn't answered, which I actually could easily answer. I was just lazy to discuss Senja. "Where?" Mas Awan leaned closer, also looking at the workbook. "It's this easy, how can you not do it?" he said before then teaching me how to solve the problem. I didn't say anything, just stayed silent, letting Mas Awan explain the solution that I actually already knew. "Easy, right?" he said. "Uh-huh." I closed the Chemistry workbook. "Done. Finally." Mas Awan let out a rather loud sigh and leaned his back against the chair. "What's wrong?" I asked. "It's Saturday night, and we're doing Chemistry." "So what do you want to do?" I asked. "You're the one who said you didn't dare to ask me out." "Yeah, I know. But why are we doing Chemistry? We could be talking about something else." "Talk about what? We've been talking all this time, haven't we?" Mas Awan looked at me again with surprise. "Are you really having PMS?" he asked. "Yes." This time, Mas Awan seemed genuinely at a loss for words. So he just nodded and soon said goodbye to go home. "You should rest first," he said after saying goodbye to Dad and Mom inside the house. Ugh, I actually felt bad that it ended up like this. But I also didn't know why I could get so annoyed just because Mas Awan talked about Senja. Who was he, anyway? Why did I care so much? I'd never even talked to him. Forget talking, just seeing him from afar made my heart feel like it wanted to leap out of my chest, beating incredibly fast. "Sorry, Mas," I finally said as I saw Mas Awan off outside the gate. Mas Awan smiled and nodded his head gently. "It's okay," he said. "I'm going home, okay? I love you." I couldn't do anything but nod, smile, and then wave as he started his motorcycle. I quickly closed the gate, locked it, then tidied up my stationery that was still on the patio table, bringing it inside the house. "Awan's gone home?" Dad asked as soon as I reached the stairs. "Yes." Dad nodded his head. It seemed like Dad wanted to say something but held back. "Alright. Go to sleep. It's late." "Okay. I'll go to sleep now," I said goodbye before climbing the stairs and immediately entering my room. Initially, I just wanted to go straight to sleep. It seemed my brain was asking for a rest. But when I saw the laptop on the bed, I immediately remembered that I hadn't turned it off when I left it earlier. Lazily, I reached for the laptop, straightening its screen, which automatically lit up. My cursor was almost directed to the 'X' icon in the upper right corner of the page to close the application. But my hand suddenly froze. Senja's Facebook profile was displayed on the laptop screen. It was really his. The photo on the profile was truly his photo. Him. Langit Senja. Suddenly, there was a strange feeling in my chest when I saw his photo. Crazy. This was truly crazy. Even just seeing his photo felt like this. Aaaargh... I was really not well now. It seemed I really needed to sleep. Yes, it was best if I just slept. I immediately turned off the laptop and placed it on the table near the bed. I then turned off the light and prepared to sleep. But just as I was about to sleep, my phone rang, indicating an incoming message. Mas Awan : Why aren't you asleep yet? Hurry up and sleep. It's late. Love you. "So idle," I muttered while replying to his text. Me: Yeah. I'm about to sleep. Good night, Mas. Another notification then appeared on my phone screen. A red number one appeared on the blue letter F. There was a new notification on my Facebook. Langit Senja accepted your friend request "Whaaaaaaaaaat?!!" I exclaimed. I, who had been lying down, immediately sat up again as soon as I opened that notification. "Aaaaah!! Stupid!" I cursed. I must have unconsciously sent a friend request earlier. Ugh... what's wrong with my brain? Stupid! Stupid! Gosh, where am I going to put my face tomorrow if I meet him? I've never even talked to him, never introduced myself, and then suddenly I'm sending a friend request on Facebook? You're so smart, Taa!! I quickly turned off my phone and put it under my pillow. I didn't want to look at that thing for a while. I had to sleep, hoping sleep could help me fix my brain, which had been acting up lately. To be continued