Fathers must be able to nurture, enlighten, serve, and engage, providing guidance, advice, direction, communication, and fulfilling the spiritual and material needs of the family, especially for their children. This can influence children's social lives, achievements, and the realization of their aspirations. To foster closeness between fathers and children, various approaches can be taken, depending on their age.
When children are toddlers, closeness can be built by frequently holding them. Fathers should also play with their children and avoid smoking, as the smell can make children reluctant to be near them. When children are in elementary school, fathers can apply a parenting style that combines affection with firm love. However, without being harsh, don't immediately scold children when they make mistakes.
Instead, say, "Dad doesn't like it when you do that, dear." Fathers can also make agreements to prevent a second mistake, while offering praise or rewards if the child adheres to the agreement. For teenagers, fathers can approach them by engaging in dialogue, chatting, or listening to their concerns about the teenage world. Furthermore, for fathers and children separated by distance, Ayah Edy, a parenting practitioner, suggests building closeness through communication tools.
"Fathers must make time for quality play and outings with their children, and greet them warmly," said psychologist Ine Indriani. Fathers must also have a balanced role with mothers in child-rearing. This is so children can learn about assertiveness, logical thinking, and can make boys seem macho. If children are not close to their fathers, boys may become "effeminate," and girls may be easily deceived by men.
References: Leisure, siesta, Republika Supplement page 5, Tuesday Edition, April 15, 2014