SWEET REVENGE

"Don't run to the past just because you miss it. If it truly deserves you, it wouldn't be behind you, but beside you." What wise advice! It's as if we're being admonished not to discard the past as something bad, or as a place only fit for bad things. Among millions of past memories, I have one sweet recollection from which I was able to change everything for the better. At that time, I was a senior high school girl at a renowned high school in my city, and like any normal teenager, the seeds of love were blossoming in my heart. A boy from the 'rain city' who always made my sleeping position uncomfortable. His quiet demeanor, his often silly behavior, his seemingly bitter smile, and his excessive introversion made every second feel like vapor as soon as he walked away. But such is life; while the minute hand gladly follows wherever the hour hand turns, it's not the same with love. It has its own rotation, namely the heart that governs and controls where it should set its course. *** It was already dark when the public transport stopped at the gate of my dormitory. It was a social rehabilitation complex focused on visually impaired students. After paying the fare, I wearily walked straight to the mosque. It had become a habit for me to perform the Maghrib prayer every day after school before returning to the dorm. In my long prostration, I strung together many hopes: for the entire year I would live until a satisfying end arrived; for all the bitterness that always followed my steps, that a path would always be given as an antidote; for all aspirations, that they would culminate gloriously after a tiring journey. On my way back to the dorm, I heard a group of people, who turned out to be the organization's legislative members, holding a closed meeting. Through the open window, I heard a list of competitions that would be held for this year's Indonesian Independence Day celebration. They enthusiastically listed various categories from football, volleyball, chess, cooking, panjat pinang (greasy pole climbing), sack race, tug-of-war, ironing clothes, to playing gapleh (dominoes), filling the meeting room with their chatter. But that wasn't what truly caught my attention, because suddenly, a short-pitched voice, though soft, managed to stop me in my tracks. A special voice from someone who, for the past few weeks, had been the deepest wound in my heart. For a week now, everything had changed; no more laughter, no more crazy short messages, no more wildly interrupting heartbeats. All vanished like the leaves on the stone bench drying out in the seasonal wind. "Ah! How foolish of me! How could I waste my time just for the voice of someone who hurt me?" So I quickened my pace to reach the dorm as soon as possible. Day after day passed as usual. I went to school from morning until Maghrib, spending a lot of time preparing for the National Exam (UAN) to achieve satisfactory scores. Until one day, the organization's committee members came to distribute competition announcement flyers. Honestly, at that time, my heart was still filled with disappointment by the boy who was involved in the committee. This year, I decided not to participate in any events, citing a strong reason: focusing on the exams that were only weeks away. "You should definitely represent our dorm in the table tennis competition, Nens! Who else is good here? Only you!" Sri, my best friend, kept egging me on. At that moment, I ignored her chatter because I was busy playing with a Rubik's Cube. "I'm serious right now, Sri! There's also a Rubik's Cube competition at my school, and I want to compete. It's embarrassing, my rivals are visually impaired again and again!" I scoffed, amused. Actually, deep down, I was already sensitive about the dorm committee, especially regarding two of its members. "Just go for it! If you win, you can throw the prize at me! Besides, all your opponents are weak against you!" "Who has registered for tennis, anyway?" I was a little curious. "From what I heard, there's Eti, Santi, and Lina! I don't remember the others." Thump! At that last name, my heart seemed to brake its beat. Instantly, my hands, busy with the Rubik's Cube, suddenly stopped. "Ugh! All the opponents are weak, huh? That's no fun!" I pretended not to be interested. "But seriously, are you going to let that 'chubby girl' win? Mister Kiler will dote on her even more!" That time, Sri's words truly made my young blood boil. Without thinking twice, I immediately put my name down in the table tennis competition column to represent the dorm. *** The rather spacious room seemed to want to bear witness to how I would intellectually avenge my pain. Dozens of dorm residents, from the students to the staff, not to mention the two disgusting figures in the corner of the room, were present as if carrying a mountain of curiosity. The judges and committee members were given seats of honor right next to the table. Other spectators simply stood in an orderly fashion not far from the competition arena. When I entered the room, the atmosphere felt bland. I heard whispers clearly referring to the great name of the undefeated female table tennis player. "Oh yes! This time, I will crush anyone who causes me trouble!" That was what burned in my heart since leaving my bedroom earlier. The number of female table tennis participants was indeed not as many as the male participants. There were only eight people, each representing their respective dorms, including me. When I drew my number, I was a little disappointed because it wasn't that 'pretending-to-be-cute girl' who turned out to be my opponent in the first round. "Huh! If only it were her, I would definitely bully her until game 11!" I grumbled irritably. But I remained calm, shaking hands with my first opponent in the preliminary round, named Dewi. For this first round, the first pair to play was Eti and Asih. The match proceeded slowly because both of them turned out to be not yet skilled in playing table tennis. The same went for the second pair, only making the match feel longer than allotted. I was already annoyed, worried that the match time would run out before my mission succeeded. Until it was the third pair's turn, which was that annoying girl with an opponent who was also her dormmate. I edged closer to the table. I wanted to see clearly how the match unfolded from up close. All low-vision participants were indeed given the rule to cover their eyes with blindfolds provided by the committee. I took advantage of that opportunity by quietly giving her commands so she could win the match. I whispered the instructions as her hand moved precisely to meet the incoming ball. Of course, she didn't recognize me because her eyes were tightly covered. It seemed she had difficulty adapting to balancing the sound of the ball without sight as an aid. I had to ensure she would emerge as the winner because she had to meet me in the final later. I carefully observed her playing style, from her ball-hitting technique, her strategy to deceive opponents, to her smashing power—everything was very poor in my eyes. How magnificent this revenge would be if I could give her a game 11, as a congratulation for her getting together with my beloved Mister Kiler. That was what dominated the youthful spirit within my chest, while I continued to observe her movements during the match. My blood boiled even more when I saw that boy already standing to the right of the table. I also heard words of encouragement full of love, which felt like trash to me, making my stomach suddenly want to churn. Although her entire game was sub-par, her opponent was no better. She won with a score of 21-13 against the girl Sri called 'Buntet'. When my turn came, it didn't take long because in quick succession, I 'KO'd Neneng Santi from the next dorm with a score of 21-8. Many whispered that I was sadistic, and many also said I was shameless for daring to compete against people who were still learning. "If you want to learn, don't join the competition!" I replied cynically. Truly, my intention at that time was only one: to corner those two love-struck individuals so they wouldn't look down on me. This was the thrilling moment when the judges once again distributed participant draw numbers complete with their opponents' names. But it seemed time was playing tricks on me by not listing that girl's name as an opponent in the second round. But I waited calmly, because after successfully defeating my opponent, I made sure we would meet at least to contend for first and second place. I wouldn't allow a slight difference in our points; I would directly bully her with a very sweet game. Unconsciously, my cynical smile spread again as I watched the two people fiercely competing. It seemed that girl was starting to get used to her blindfold; her hands were becoming skillful at hitting and returning the ball, even with decent smashes. Until finally, she won with a score of 21-14. I stood gracefully after putting on my blindfold. Closing my eyes during a match was no longer strange to me. Throughout my involvement in this exciting sport, I had accustomed myself to training my hearing and full concentration. "Be careful, Lin! You're fighting a lion!" That unoriginal remark only further fueled my spirit to win this match beautifully. "Ready?" I immediately swung my bat for the first serve. Of course, she could easily hit it back, but still gently, because that's the rule when returning the first serve: the stroke must remain ordinary. Actually, this is where the opponent's strategy comes into play, by directing the ball to roll to the right or left side. Hopefully, it could precisely hit the entry hole where short hands like mine would find it difficult to reach. But I was not one to be accustomed to such an old weakness. Because I would raise my body slightly above the table so my hand could easily hit the ball back. However, it seemed my opponent, who was the key player in this game's mission, hadn't yet learned that level of game trick. She returned the ball only to the center, so I casually hit it back a little harder directly into the opponent's corner. "In!" First point for me. I smiled, amused. I already had a 5-0 lead, and it was time to give the ball to my opponent for the next serve. On this occasion, she should have been able to equalize the score because she was free to smash. But again, it wouldn't be me if I were easily intimidated. I would use the 'Sintir' technique, which I had learned in the past few months, to deceive her hearing, which had started to improve after her eyes were covered. As soon as she served, I hit the ball while slightly rotating the bat's surface so that the ball rolled back silently. "In!" The sound of disappointed sighs mixed with the cheers of my dormmates. From across the table where my opponent was, I heard those trashy whispers again, making my chest churn endlessly. But I remembered many pieces of advice from great teachers and seniors at the table tennis arena. When competing, calmness is the main key. In a calm state, we will achieve full concentration, allowing strategies to emerge automatically. While remaining calm, I continued the game, still using every opportunity to secure point 11 before she could get even one point. "God! This isn't revenge or an intention to harm, but I just want to uplift my spirit, to show that I still have worth to redeem a defeat on another occasion." That was the voice of my heart accompanying every movement of my hand. I continued to play calmly, returning serve after serve with every technique, and finally! "Gaaaaame!" The game ended with a score of 11-00... *finished*