Kartunet - Being a woman and having a disability is not easy. Throughout their life cycle, women with disabilities are sociologically proven to be vulnerable to double discrimination and layered vulnerabilities. The state is also aware of this, which is why Law Number 8 of 2016 specifically mandates that women with disabilities are entitled to greater protection from such layered discriminatory treatment.
However, beyond legal protection, there is a fortress of defense that must be built from within women themselves: resilience or mental toughness. Ms. Maria Wirastari, M.Psi., Psychologist, who is also a woman with visual impairment, shares valuable guidance on how women with disabilities can manage their mental health amidst the onslaught of societal stigma.
Addressing Negative Comments with "Self-Worth"
Negative comments, belittlement, and doubts about the abilities of women with disabilities are like "daily bread," which ironically sometimes also come from their own family environment. To face this, Ms. Maria emphasizes that the main weapon one must possess is calmness and self-confidence.
This self-confidence is rooted in the concept of "self-worth." If a woman with a disability herself feels incapable or negative, it will be very difficult to convince others that she can be empowered. Therefore, we must first build a positive self-concept, recognize our strengths, and come to terms with our disability so as not to be easily shaken when confronted with disparaging comments. If family proves to have a toxic or negative influence, adults have the right to make their own decisions and set boundaries to limit such harmful influences.
Emotional Validation: It's Okay to Be Sad, But Don't Dwell
Many women with disabilities, especially mothers, harbor guilt due to their limitations. Having negative emotions such as feeling tired, sad, disappointed, or angry is very natural and human. We are allowed to validate these feelings.
However, what is unhealthy is allowing oneself to dwell in sadness without seeking a way out. A healthy psychological approach is to acknowledge, accept, and understand these feelings of disappointment, then immediately "move on" to find solutions and overcome the obstacles ahead. Children and families do not need a physically perfect mother, but rather a mother who can be fully present and happy.
Replenishing the "Emotional Tank" and Avoiding the "Always Strong" Facade
A woman is often expected to be the emotional pillar of the family. If the mother is happy, her surroundings will also feel warm; conversely, if the mother is stressed, the entire household can become uncomfortable. Therefore, it is important for women to continuously refill their "emotional tank."
This can be done by setting aside time for oneself (me time), joining supportive communities to share experiences, and not forcing oneself to always appear strong. Asking for help from friends or professionals is not a sign of weakness, but rather proof that we are smart in seeking strategies to become more empowered.
Grounding Techniques When Stress Strikes
When stress or anxiety peaks, Ms. Maria shares a practical technique that is very easy for women with disabilities to perform to calm their minds: sensory awareness (grounding) technique. Try sitting quietly and follow these steps:
- Focus your hearing to identify three sounds around you.
- Focus your sense of smell to identify two aromas you can detect.
- Use your sense of touch to feel textures around you, such as the texture of your clothes or the chair you are sitting on.
- Use your sense of taste to notice what is in your mouth.
This technique will help bring a chaotic or wandering mind back to earth (focus on the present moment), allowing stress to be more manageable.
Conclusion
Being a woman with a disability means being prepared to face various layers of double challenges. However, this vulnerability can be overcome by building strong mental resilience. By feeling self-worth, managing emotions healthily, and not hesitating to seek help, women with disabilities can continue to contribute and build happy and meaningful lives.
References:
- Bappenas, KSP, AIPJ2, & JPODI (2021). Book on Monitoring the Fulfillment of Disability Rights.
- Law of the Republic of Indonesia Number 8 of 2016 concerning Persons with Disabilities.
- "Special Mother's Day Webinar 2025 (DPP Pertuni)" (YouTube).